Another Look at Freedom

 The value of freedom can have many interpretations and it is one that I have traditionally shied away from.  I embrace the notion of freedom under the umbrella of God's will vs free will.  But being raised in the midwest in the '50s, there was little opportunity to think about living with freedom as a value that might guide my life's path. I learned early in childhood the "right" way to do things so other options felt far outside of my understanding of the world. Ignatius brings us another definition of freedom by inviting us to indifference to all things in the world. This was a difficult concept for me to completely understand and accept. I was being told that I should neither prefer health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long or short life.  We lean into whatever brings us closer to God. Sadly, many times those things are sickness, poverty, failure, and a life cut short.  

But this past week, I came to understand yet another meaning of freedom.  Due to air travel delays and cancellations as well as an incoming hurricane, I made the decision to fly back home rather than to Florida to visit my mom.  This meant I would be home for a total of four days when the rest of the world thought I was away.  I immediately felt a sense of freedom, the freedom of obligations that the following week I would be introducing into my retirement plan.  I did not have the intention of secluding myself away so those people with whom I was in contact, I advised of my plans and anyone else who inquired about my safety from the hurricane, I also informed that I had returned home.  I scheduled a few social engagements over the four days but the euphoria of freedom continued to pervade my being. I began to think more deeply about this and embrace it as a new way of moving in the world.  What if I were able to lean into this feeling and find new ways to bring the sense of freedom into my life? I questioned my desire to lead from the comfort I find in a daily/weekly schedule.  This new approach did not throw the schedule away.  I still began each day with a potential list of things to do but the order and timeframe was no longer required.  I began to CHOOSE each item.  Right now I want to call my aunt, right now I want to read the paper.  I entered into each thing with greater desire and somethings just didn't get done on the day they were anticipated. But gradually, I came to trust myself and know that the things that needed doing were done.  There it is!  The key word is trust. Trust in God, trust in me, trust in our relationship that I will be led exactly where I need to be.