Let Me Linger Here With God

 My morning prayer often unintentionally takes its sweet time to come around to a natural stopping place and I like it that way. A few years ago, experiencing the Spiritual Exercises introduced me to this new feeling of comfort and familiarity with my Creator. As God settled in with me and I with God day after day, I came to appreciate my own lack of concern for the time or other obligations. The experience of being with God was just too good; it was hard to let go of it. So I stayed.  This was the joy of being retired and at the time knowing very few people in the neighborhood. There was little on my agenda and truly no other place I would rather be.

Just the word linger has a feeling of slowness to it. It is like sitting in an overstuffed chair and feeling it close in around and hold you in place. It is as if the sides of the chairs have become giant arms caressing you like a familiar friend. As the minutes pass by, I even find myself saying the words, "Let me linger here with God." And I never ever regret the extra minutes spent with my Beloved. I simply sit in the silence listening for more or waiting for the moment that I am ready to say "Come with me into the day."

I recall the beginning of this ritual like it was yesterday. As I awoke one morning, I greeted God in thankfulness for the new day like I always did. Suddenly, I had the sensation of my entire body being lifted up and held in the open hands of my God much like you see new dads holding their tiny newborns. The difference in size between the hands of God and my adult body felt like the exact same ratio. I felt myself fall into this position of love and safety and relax.  I softly nuzzled the side of my face against the oversized fingers and took it all in; the warmth, the softness, the security of this place to call home. For months afterwards I would call of this image and sensation of being held each morning and especially if I woke during the night. I came to look forward to this extra time with God, lingering.  It has been several years since I have felt any regrets about 3 AM wake up calls for no apparent reason.  They are always another chance to be held in God's loving embrace, my body curled up into the folds of his hands.  

And so I linger as I feel my morning prayer ritual come to a close.  Just a few more minutes, just a little bit longer.  The I and me, the lover and the beloved holding each other's gaze as we turn and together greet the day.